Baby's Phirst Haircut

Someone got his phirst haircut today.

The groomer might have removed some phur, but she didn't take away his sass.

Oh Clearance Tree

Aphter years with a crooked 3-phoot tree that Wiphey bought phor $8 at Walmart aphter a Christmas season years ago, we decided it was time phor a more sophisticated tree and went clearance shopping.

It came out oph the box long enouph to test the lights.

Sorry, Phil, it's going to be 11 more months bephore you'll see this tree again.

Random Question

Does this sweater make Phritz's butt look big?

The Weekend Bephore Christmas

This aphternoon, Wiphey made gingerbread cookies...

...while Hubby installed a new toilet*.

Phil thinks Hubby must have drawn the short straw.

*Note to Dad Deuce: Hubby thought oph waiting for over a year to ask you to help install it, but he was really tired oph the way the old one kept running and couldn't wait to replace it.

A Literary Lesson

Today's literary term is SIMILE: a comparison oph two unlike things using "like" or "as."

Example: Captain's kennel was like a cloud aphter he pulled the stuphphing phrom his pillow.

Phun with Sleeping Dogs

Those are socks, tied together, on Captain's pheet.

We don't subscribe to the adage "Let sleeping dogs lie" around here.

Why Phil Squinted phor Phour Quarters

Our local college phootball team is in a playophph game that is being televised on a channel we don't have access to, so we have to stream it phrom the Internet.

The screen is only 23", which would take us back to our college days oph watching TV on a small screen, only our college TVs weren't even that small.